So noir

'A woman doesn't care how a guy makes a living, just how he makes love.'
Rita, The Big Combo

But a woman does care about adorning herself with appropriate arm candy. Which is why we're so pleased that Marnie Skillings and Jasmine Noir teamed up to create wonders such as this ribbon/chain bracelet.

Nails shmails, she was invincible

She knew the state of her nails didn't really matter. At least not while she was wearing her favourite cropped jacket by TL Wood. A chip here, a frizzy hair there. She could get away with murder if she had to, so long as she was wearing this jacket. Not that she believed in superpowers. She didn't need to. In TL Wood she possessed something far greater. Sartorial satisfaction and timeless elegance. Nothing could stop her. Not even the long cold arm of the law.

All dotty

Sure, there are some spots nobody wants. Like when they peskily appear on your face, or your favorite silk dress during a much deserved night out when all you want to do is let loose, and flail your arms around a little bit, not be punished with sartorial destruction when you knock over that glass of red, not that I am bitter or anything...

But is it even possible not to love polkadots? Or ballet flats? These gorgeous little numbers are by Sambag and would be ever so cute with a little spring frock, or some jeans and a floaty blouse. I'm sold!

What I wore

Does anyone know the blog, What I wore? Basically, it's creator Jessica Schroeder takes a picture of herself every single day and posts it online. She has great legs and a definite knack for putting things together. So I am a bit obsessed with her in a totally non-creepy way.

Anyways, one day Jessica advised a fashion-frustrated reader to plan her outfits a week in advance. I like this idea, but it would never work for me. Too fickle. Too disorganized. Nowhere decent to hang preplanned outfits.

However, another arguably fail-proof solution could be to purchase a few items from the ever reliable TL Wood. That way you will always have something to wear because her pieces are just so versatile. Take this dress for instance. Strappy sandals for summer, boots for winter, a chunky knit, a scarf, heels, flats, hat, no hat...Endless possibilities. In fact, you could wear it every single day for a week. How's that for pre-planning?

Dear oh deer

Once upon a time there was a small girl called Amelia. Upon birth she appeared perfectly normal, but as she grew so did the antlers upon her head. Amelia hated her antlers and tried everything to remove them, but alas, they always grew back. One day, after a particularly brutal day at school, Amelia decided to run away.

Unfortunately she had very little money and had no choice but to hitchhike. It seemed that no on wanted to offer a ride to a small girl with antlers and poor Amelia stood by the side of the road for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, a bleached blonde woman in stilettos and a tight leather skirt pulled over. 'Get in antler girl,' she said. 'I'm going to make you a star.'

Before she knew it, Amelia was bracing the covers of magazines all across the world. She was also an Internet sensation and her YouTube video, 'How to grow your own antlers' was viewed by billions. Boys loved her, girls wanted to be her.

Amelia relished in her celebrity. She even loved being chased the the paparazzi and made them cupcakes when she had the time. One particular paparazzo named Ernie was so touched and inspired (he was so used to being scorned and treated like vermin) he decided to create an Amelia the antler girl tee. Flattering, stylish and versatile, the above version by Woodford and Co is is a particularly delectable take on the now legendary style.

Purple haze

Bless me Fleur Wood for I have sinned. You see, it's been a while since I wore purple. Possibly because my childhood obsession with this glorious shade was tainted by my great old Aunty Ingrid who told me that I looked like a Catholic Priest - not a compliment when you're an 8 year-old Cindy Lauper fan rocking it out in the 80s. But now I have seen the light. I am moving on. Nothing remotely robe-y about this sassy little number. Hallelujah.

No apologies

There comes a time in every woman's life when she must apologise for something. Accidentally spilling red wine on her best friend's new sofa, forgetting her husband's birthday, swearing in front of small children.

But this Samantha Wills cuff is called Unapologetic Glory for a reason. A particularly useful handcuff substitute when making a citizens arrest, this cuff will not only provide one with a superpower-like sensation, it also looks amazing with jeans, a LBD or a floor skimming maxi. In other words, this cuff is unapologetically stunning and powerful. Wear without caution. And don't ever apologise when making a striking sartorial statement.